I Guess I'm A Violent Person...

So for the past three days my right hand has been swollen. Not the whole hand, just the back of it on the right side, like above my pinkie. I don't know what caused my poor hand to swell, but it hurts. Especially when it touches pants pockets, doorways, and oxygen.


Now please focus your attention to the picture of my chubby hand. On the right side you can see where my skin has a bump on it that should definitely not be there.

So I went to my roommate Winnie and asked her to investigate. Here's how that went:

ME: Can you investigate my hand?

WINNIE: What am I looking for?

ME: I don't know, just poke and prod my hand until you find out why it's swollen and hurts so much.

WINNIE: I can't tell what's wrong with your hand. Did you hit something?

ME: No.

WINNIE: Maybe this happened when you were hitting Ryan the other night.

ME: I didn't even hit him that hard!

WINNIE: Did you miss and hit a wall?

ME: No.

WINNIE: Door frame?

ME: NO!

I didn't like her tone of voice. So a little while later I asked my other roommate Bilu (don't pronounce it incorrectly, its said like beeloo). Here's that conversation:

ME: Bilu, my hand really hurts. It's been swollen for 2 days.

BILU: Maybe its because you were hitting Ryan the other night.

ME: *stomps off*

I was done with my roommates and their stupid ideas. So when my boyfriend Ryan came home, I brought it up to him too:

ME: Hey Ryan, did I tell you that my hand has been swollen and really hurts?

RYAN: Probably from punching me in the sternum the other night.

ME: Actually, I'm beginning to think its cancer. The quick killing, in-operable, kind. I'll go to an oncologist tomorrow, but I honestly don't see the point, seeing as how I probably don't have more than a few days to live.

(Actually I didn't say that, I said something more along the lines of "WHAT THE HELL, I DIDN'T EVEN HIT YOU THAT HARD, CRYBABY!!!")